


it'll be okay

by mixtape1



Series: cc prompts! [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, although it deviates from that greatly whoops, but hes not The patient, hyunjin is patient
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 07:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19865845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixtape1/pseuds/mixtape1
Summary: seungmin falls sick from over exerting himself and hyunjin is there by his side the whole time.





	it'll be okay

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt: THEN another au is like,,,, hurt/comfort seungmin? (if u couldn’t tell, i’m seungmin biased oop) like maybe he practices too late and gets hurt, or gets sick, or basically ANYTHING where he suffers and then hyunjin/changbin comfort him bc I LOVE HURT/COMFORT ok (i went with hyunjin!) 
> 
> listen to grow up, voices and tmt (pay attention to the lyrics) while reading this x

when they had been discussing first impressions, seungmin had laughed along at how everybody thought chan was the dance instructor, and at how they found changbin intimidating yet effortlessly cool when rapping. 

he didn’t let it show that he wished somebody had remembered him for something too.

hyunjin had been mesmerized by jeongin’s vocals, to the point of following him around just to hear him sing. 

seungmin wished somebody thought about him like that. 

although first impressions were definitely way over and there was no way to change them, seungmin found himself practicing extremely hard before each comeback anyway. 

he wanted to be recognized for his hard work, his vocals, his _dance_ \- at this point, anything would do. 

every time he searched for his name on social media, there would be little praising his skills, everything was just about his interactions with the other members.

even if the tweets made him smile, they never compared to the grin he could feel form on his face when he chanced upon a rare post about his ‘beautiful voice’. 

sometimes, seungmin would see talk about his dance skills surface, and that fueled the fire in him to work extra hard. 

and for the longest time, he never fell ill no matter how much he trained. 

if he stayed back later than usual, he would simply rest during school hours, and feel refreshed by the time practice came (all while remaining as the top student).

the cycle repeated itself, each comeback. 

however, the human body can only take so much stress - even if seungmin is known for never falling sick. 

slightly after their promotions for side effects finished, he caught the worst flu in his life.

he probably got it from jeongin, who was finally recovering from a bad cough. 

as much as he wants to lay in bed sleeping the day away, seungmin knows he has to practice for their upcoming tour. 

many fans praised him in yellow wood for both his dance and voice - he doesn’t want to let them down after everything.

as he struggles to even sit up, he vaguely wonders what the time is. 

the members had left and he remembers minho saying they’d bring lunch back for him. 

he spots his phone sitting on the table and it’s never looked so far before. 

when he manages to sit up, his blanket falls and seungmin shivers. the air conditioner isn’t even turned on. 

slapping a hand to his neck, he wonders if the fever is worse than he thought, only to push that hypothesis away because he doesn’t have time to be sick. 

it’s probably not even that bad - he’s just delusional and out of it.

as he’s climbing down the ladder shakily, the door to their room opens and he stops to see hyunjin gasp. 

“what are you doing out of bed?!” he shouts, finger pointing accusingly at him like seungmin was just caught cheating. 

the loudness of his voice makes him wince, but he plays it off as shrugging so he doesn’t look suspicious. 

of course, nothing ever gets pass hyunjin as he narrows his eyes and strides into their room with a newfound sense of duty. 

there are only a few more steps left on the ladder, yet he gets carried off anyway (when did hyunjin get strong enough to do that?) and gets pushed onto hyunjin’s bed. 

“rest.” 

he rarely uses his ‘you better listen to me voice’, mainly because no one ever takes him seriously but seungmin sees the worry in his eyes and bites his lip.

“i can’t, hyunjin. the tour is in a week, i need to practice or else i won’t be able to catch up.” seungmin rarely admits his fears like this, but if it’s hyunjin… he can do it without feeling _that_ bad for being a burden.

hyunjin squats down until they’re eye level and seungmin automatically pouts. 

maybe that’ll convince him to take him to practice. 

“nonsense,” hyunjin chides, cupping seungmin’s cheeks. “out of all of us, you can memorise lyrics the fastest without forgetting them an hour later. out of all of us, you’re the most serious when learning our choreography. _out of all of us_ , you’re the most determined and diligent person i know.” 

“i can’t be any of that when i’m not in the practice room though.” seungmin points out, hand gripping tightly around hyunjin’s wrist. 

“i’m telling you to take a break, seungmin-ie.” 

he knows this, obviously. what other intentions would hwang hyunjin have other than the purest and most thoughtful? 

but he can’t. he can’t _not_ work hard because everybody is already one step ahead. 

“pleas-?” seungmin pleads - or tries to, hoping the puppy eyes will work but they don’t - not when his voice decides to crack on him as he starts coughing mid sentence. 

immediately, hyunjin shoves a cup into his face (where did he get that from) and looks so serious when he pushes the rim of it against his lips, seungmin sighs. 

“drink, rest and come out when you’re hungry. no going to the practice room until you’re fully recovered.” 

seungmin opens his mouth to fight back again, when a finger replaces the rim of his cup. 

“hush, whatever you say, i’m not gonna give in.” 

one last time, he pouts and looks up at hyunjin who is already standing, hoping it’ll affect him the same way it affects the fans but deflates when he only gets a giggle in response.

“you’re cute but go to sleep, i’ll come check in on you later.” 

huffing, seungmin drinks the water he’s been kindly provided with and lays down on hyunjin’s bed, snuggling into the pillow on instinct. 

the blanket that smells like his best friend feels like he has an arm wrapped around him and he ends up falling asleep faster than he would’ve wanted to. 

seungmin notes a few things when he’s conscious again. 

firstly, he’s starving, and his mouth is extremely dry. 

secondly, there’s something wet on his forehead. 

thirdly, his arm is in an uncomfortable position and his hand is warm. 

when he opens his eyes, it takes him a few seconds to adjust to the darkness of the room. 

that’s why he only notices the head on his bed after blinking a few times. 

there, laying in what seems like the most uncomfortable position ever - is hyunjin with his neck bent at an awkward angle and- 

oh. 

they’re holding hands. 

he doesn’t have perfect eyesight without his glasses (and even with them on that’s still a debatable topic) but he sees how their fingers are clearly intertwined and blushes.

(or maybe it’s the fever.)

how did he end up doing that in his sleep?

as he tries to subtly turn away from hyunjin, because it’s weird to keep staring at him and their hands, the wet thing he had identified from earlier falls onto his eyes. 

it’s a wet cloth, and seungmin tries very hard not to melt in the summer heat of korea and from his fever _and_ his growing blush. 

if he weren’t sick, he wouldn’t have reacted this obviously but he lets himself have this, for once.

hyunjin isn’t awake anyway. 

_this is terrible_ , he thinks. 

wait - what if he wasn’t even the one who gave seungmin the towel? he shouldn’t get his hopes up. 

seungmin nods in approval of his thoughts and lets out a squeak when he hears a snort.

“who are you nodding at, seungmin-ah?” 

the heat on his cheeks which he can luckily cover up as a result from his fever intensifies and he wants to pull his hand away so bad. it doesn’t help that he didn’t manage to turn away either.

hyunjin is smiling widely at him (or at least, his sort of blurry form is) and seungmin’s heart does fifty backflips. 

another hand touches his forehead and seungmin automatically sighs and leans into his touch because it’s cooling. 

“i think your fever finally died down, that’s good.” hyunjin informs, even though he doesn’t have to since he can _feel_ that his head isn’t ready to burst into a million parts.

(kind of funny how it _did_ hurt whenever they performed side effects during the last few days on music shows.) 

“sorry about earlier, i might’ve been way too harsh.” he suddenly says, and seungmin makes a noise of confusion.

the hand which is still holding seungmin’s in a tight grasp squeezes a little and he makes _another_ noise of confusion. 

(also a noise of well - a mix between surprise and an emotion he can only label as _holy shit_.)

hyunjin goes from slouching to sitting up right, and seungmin finds himself sitting up too, feeling like it’s appropriate. 

he doesn’t know what the hell is happening though. 

“it’s just… you’re amazing but you don’t see it.” 

_what?_

god, seungmin really wishes he had his glasses so he can see what hyunjin is feeling because his heart is currently one big mess _and_ his fever might return from how fast his face heats up again.

“i know you don’t think you’re good enough, seungmin.” hyunjin continues, his… his whatever the fuck he’s doing because seungmin has no clue what’s happening and why hyunjin is suddenly bringing this up but he doesn’t quite like it. “i said this earlier but you work hard. you work harder than almost all of us _combined_.” 

his grip on hyunjin’s hand tightens and he wants this conversation to stop. 

“that’s why your body finally caved. we - _i_ , was so worried when you collapsed like that in the practice room. you have to take breaks, seungmin-ie - trust me, they _are_ well deserved.” he’s never heard hyunjin speak to him like this before, and seungmin sees the wall he’s built around himself slowly collapsing. 

in a desperate attempt to stop it from breaking, he cuts hyunjin off before he can continue. 

“sorry,” seungmin whispers. it wasn’t supposed to come out so softly and he clears his throat. he’s fine - he’s _fine_. 

“i- i want to be recognized.” 

that’s not what he wanted to say. 

(the walls start to crack.)

“seungmin…” hyunjin doesn’t look at him with pity, neither does he look at him with disbelief. instead, he looks accepting and his eyes say ‘go ahead’.

before he can bite his tongue and laugh it off, his mouth opens and the words he's kept hidden in the deepest place of his heart leave. 

“no one ever notices kim seungmin, when we’re together as nine. and sometimes, that’s okay - i’m not mad because stays have good taste, all our members are great. but at the same time, i wish they _saw_ , the countless nights stayed up until dawn arrived. i wish they saw the way i’ve practiced so much i couldn’t speak for _hours_ after. i wish they knew, that i _exist_ too.” 

he hates how his heart gives way. 

“and i mean - i won’t say i’ve gone unnoticed. i have fans, i see them but i’m just… i’m just _there_ , an afterthought. i want to leave an impression, i want to be more than felix’s best friend.” seungmin forces his mouth to close before he can add more things - he doesn’t want to be rude and he doesn’t want to expose himself more than he already has. 

(by now, half of his wall has been torn down.)

seungmin looks away, although he can’t see hyunjin’s expression, he doesn’t want to try. 

“i’m sorry for dumping that on you… it’s really selfish of me to think like that... we’re all in the same group so it’s just stupid to even have fears like these.” he laughs - it’s soulless.

he hates being self deprecating, it’s never nice for the person listening to him which is why seungmin has never talked to anyone in the first place. 

the urge to run away and rebuild his wall from scratch revisits and he chews on his lip, the fabric on hyunjin’s blanket suddenly becoming ten times more interesting than it previously had been.

a sigh fills the silence of the room and seungmin’s heart sinks when the hand lets go. 

this was a mistake, he should've kept his mouth shut, pretended to smile, pretended nothing was wrong, he shouldn’t have said anyt-

“seungmin.” his head turns, when he hears his name - of course it does, it always does whenever hyunjin calls for him. 

he’s halfway onto his bed when their eyes meet and seungmin wants to look away again.

the bed is small, only enough to fit one person but hyunjin makes it work as he positions himself such that he’s right next to seungmin. 

it’s strange, how at one moment he felt light years away and in the next second, he’s right there. 

_why hasn’t he given up?_

at this point, his old friends would’ve sighed, walked away and chosen to never speak to him again when he shuts them out.

unhealthy as it may be, seungmin felt the safest whenever they did that. 

before he can continue fixing his wall, it shatters (when did concrete transform into glass?) in the blink of an eye when he gets a hug from the side. 

“seungmin, seungmin, _seungmin_.” hyunjin chants into his neck, and the sensation is odd. everything is odd - there is no way any of this is real. 

hwang hyunjin is not breaking down his well built wall. hwang hyunjin isn’t supposed to care about him to _this_ extent. 

hwang hyunjin shouldn’t be the one comforting seungmin. 

that’s his job.

he’s the resident ‘therapist’, he’s the one everyone goes to whenever they’re in need. 

it’s not supposed to be the other way around. 

especially not with hyunjin. 

“look at me.” hyunjin softly asks or demands - seungmin can’t tell, when he lets go.

again, this must be a dream because he’s actually turning his head to face hyunjin. 

when did he have such poor control over his own actions?

(perhaps when hyunjin entered his life, back when he was still the boy with short black hair and the brightest eye smile.) 

hands cup his cheeks again and the air gets painfully knocked out his lungs. 

“i love you.” 

_this is a dream, this is a dream, this is a dream._

“i love you and it _hurts_ to see you beating yourself up like this. i was never going to confess when i know you have a lot on your mind but i _need_ you to know that you _are_ out there.” hyunjin rambles on, hands warm on his cheeks and eyes ironically turned away from him.

he observes the way hyunjin takes in a shaky breath before continuing.

“stay love you so much - as much as i love you, we see the way you’ve improved since pre-debut. we notice how much your dance is more fluid. especially _me_ , because i’ve been watching you since the day i met you.” 

this must be some kind of twisted joke. 

(he doesn’t even know what his wall is made out of anymore, he doesn’t know how much is left. 

seungmin doesn’t know why he’s still bending down to pick up the broken pieces, trying to put them back together.

 _except he does._ ) 

“you can’t.” seungmin stops hyunjin before he can say any more. 

hyunjin furrows his eyebrows. 

“you can’t,” seungmin repeats, throat closing up. “you can’t do that, you can’t say that because- because i’m _sad_ and you’re just trying to cheer me up.”

even he sounds unsure of his own words. 

a hand makes its way to his chin and tilts it up until they’re making eye contact. 

“seungmin- _never, ever_ assume how i feel about the people i treasure the most.” hyunjin sounds like he’s going to _cry_ and snap at him at the same time. 

that makes him want to cry too because he’s messed up and he feels sick, so fucking _sick_ and _tired_ of himself.

yeah, he’s tired. 

his thoughts produce nothing but chaos, and the voices in his head won’t ever let him have _one_ good thing in his life, and seungmin wants to _scream_ about how shit everything is but hyunjin has been _nothing_ but nice and accommodating. 

“hyunjin,” he breathes in. “i’m so sorry.” and he breathes out. 

he wonders if hyunjin will understand what he’s apologizing for. 

when his hand pushes seungmin’s head down into his shoulder and the other goes to the back of his head and pets his hair - he’s certain hyunjin knows. 

of course he does, because seungmin has been watching hyunjin too.

he’s always pretended he never noticed the way his eyes linger on him a little longer than normal, he’s always pretended he never sees the way hyunjin’s head whips back to face the front when he catches him staring. he’s always pretended not to notice the way hyunjin’s heart races whenever they end up cuddling.

because seungmin is afraid. he’s so fucking _scared_ that the thoughts that won’t let him rest at night will surface and he’ll hurt the person he loves. 

too late for that though, since it’s already been done. 

“thank you, for everything.” seungmin mumbles into hyunjin’s rapidly soaking shirt and hiccups. “thank you for staying.” 

his heart hurts and his head is hurting again too.

(he’s sitting alone, surrounded by the infinite number of shards and broken pieces on the floor. his hands are dusty, blood stained from the tiny cuts and seungmin is _done_.)

“i’ll never leave.” hyunjin rubs his back and seungmin cries a little harder at the new feeling of being comforted.

he remains half in hyunjin’s lap and half on his bed for the longest time. 

until his throat is much drier than it previously was and his eyes are probably redder than his hair back in district 9. 

his heart stopped hurting and squeezing in his chest after a while of hyunjin alternating between playing with hair and hands and rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

true to his word, he doesn’t leave until seungmin clears his throat and quietly asks if he can go grab another glass of water. 

hyunjin looks physically pained to let go of seungmin, causing him to break out in a small smile. 

when they exit the room together, nobody questions them. however, they do ask about how he’s feeling during dinner and seungmin tenses only to relax when he feels a hand grab his from under the table. 

“i’m feeling much better now,” seungmin easily replies after that, since it’s not a lie. “thanks to hyunjin.” 

the members smile at them, like they _know_ something and seungmin will have to get an explanation from hyunjin later. 

for now, he lets himself bask in the radiance of his members and breathes. 

_it’ll be okay._

(when he opens his eyes, there is somebody in front of him. he holds seungmin’s dirty hands and kisses them, so gently it causes him to tear up. 

“we did it.” the angel-like person says, smiling softly while looking around at the bits and pieces scattered around. 

that’s when seungmin realizes he hadn’t been trying to fix his wall. 

_he was trying to get rid of it._

and hyunjin had been helping him do so, the entire time. 

“thank you for coming to me.” seungmin whispers. 

hyunjin grins, kissing his hands once more, and mumbles against them. 

“i always will.” 

seungmin is starting to believe it.)

* * *

at some point after that, hyunjin starts to screenshot things and send them to seungmin. 

initially, he had been confused to see a bunch of tweets, both in english and korean until he read them. 

the first round, he had smiled so hard, his cheeks physically hurt. 

unsurprisingly, the same happened for the countless times after that. 

he even had to hide how big of a grin he was sporting when hyunjin ended up screenshotting his own tweets from the account only they knew about.

_silly, silly, so goddamn silly._

seungmin takes a long time to love himself, to accept the love he receives and it’s okay. 

it’s okay because hyunjin is next to him every step of the way.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it and i did ur prompt justice!!! if u see this i hope u have a good day and that u never have to feel the way seungmin does in this fic :( love u all
> 
> [twt](http://twitter.com/owoaus) (read my seungbin au if u want!)  
> [cc](http://curiouscat.me/owoaus) (send a prompt if you want!)


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